So today at my therapy session, I was enlightened....enlightened by the fact that I don't feel. That I don't get in touch with my feelings. I am really not totally sure what all this means, but from what my therapist says, it makes sense. For years when I am in relationships with people and there are emotional things that I myself cannot deal with, I shut those people and situations out. I would purposely stop being friends with people and I never really knew why, but now it makes sense...I didn't want to feel the emotions I may have had with this person or that person at a particular time.
What also makes sense is something my ex said to me constantly towards the end of our relationship..."How could you be so cold"? I never got it when he said it to me. But now it makes perfect sense. I've always been such a thinker...not a feeler. I really wish I could feel....I bet it would be amazing.
I need to figure this out...and of course I want to figure it out NOW....but something else I need to work on....Patience.
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